How to stop the repetitive, negative, fixated thoughts….?
Its annoying as hell but its something many of us can’t help but do and its something many of my clients ask me for advice on how to stop doing it.
We think a thought…often a “bad” thought or one that makes us feel bad…and we think it over and over again. We think about a single person or problem...over and over again. We try as hard as we possibly can to shift our attention by focusing on other things. We say affirmations. We distract ourselves with food, people, games, shopping, screens, etc. We do things to "heal" and still....we end up back in that negative thought pattern loop. It’s there we tend to ruminate, obsess, try to fix, wish things would change, and sometimes suffer until we emotionally, energetically or physically make ourselves sick.
So how do we stop playing out this scenario in our minds….((*as that’s the only place it really lives)) over and over again….? There's no "magic pill" but there IS "magic practice"...and practicing the following tips W-O-R-K!
Kill the Negative Thought Paterns & Raise the Vibe Tips:
1.) Get out in front of it! Become the leader of your thought life. To do this, you must become a keen observer of your thoughts. Be aware of your thoughts. Study your thoughts. To be “aware” you must first and foremost become willing to look at everything you think. Don't run from it. Don't stuff it down. Look at it. Notice it. Do not obsess or spend a significant amount of time on it, particularly if it doesn’t serve you.
Being aware allows you the option to keep or not keep the thought. This is called “conscious thinking”. Most people just accept all their thoughts as they come as “theirs”. Be willing to release this illusion of ownership. You don't have to be everything you think, IF, you don't want to be. You can remain detached from these thoughts as merely an observer.
To do this, you must let go of the notion that you are every single thought you think and instead subscribe to the idea that thoughts that come into your mind are not “yours” per se and you have the right to accept or not accept them as they show up. Keep the ones in alignment with you are and want to be; throw the rest away. Become like a scientist observing a new specimen: look with curiosity and objectivity.
2.) Only lock into the feelings that serve. Resist the urge to follow the feeling the thoughts bring. Thank your ego self (where negative thoughts come from) for bringing this negative thought to your attention and then set the intention around detaching from any negative feelings it creates. This doesn’t mean you push the feeling away or pretend it's not there. Acknowledging and allowing negative feelings means giving yourself permission to feel what you feel in the moment but not attaching to it in such a way that you hold onto it. In fact, you are willing to let the feeling run its course and you're also willing to let it move on because you understand it’s just a feeling, and not necessarily, “your” feeling. Feelings change - remember that.
3.) Be your own cheerleader. This is probably the most important part: embrace your shadow with LOVE. Our negative thoughts and feelings represent the “shadow” side of our personalities or the “dark” side that lives within each of us. It is no less important than our “light” or “positive” side. Both are needed for balance. So, instead of damning yourself by feeling bad about feeling bad, love the shadow when it reveals itself. Love it just as much as you love your light. You do this by intentionally engaging in nurturing and loving self-talk when negative thoughts and feelings show up. Try it and see how good it feels. Remember: you can either be your own best friend or your own worst enemy. You choose. Positive self talk is one of the quickest ways to self-soothe your way into better feeling thoughts. It's scientifically proven to work.
4.) Think like a baby. Yes, a "baby", as in an infant. Babies are masters at dealing with a high degree of uncertainty in life and dealing with life only as it comes moment to moment. They are ALWAYS present to the moment which doesn't allow for getting stuck on a thought that doesn't feel good. Wellbeing is the order of the day for babies and they demand it! Think about a baby in your life. That sweet, precious 'noonie' (what I call my kids:) operates each day from a place of total surrender and trust. They trust that they will be taken care of, fed, diapered, clothed, loved. They trust that someone will be there at their exact moment of need. And, if you think about it a little more, babies really have no guarantees of any of this, yet they are arguably the happiest, most joyful, loving beings on the planet. They don't dwell on any one thing for too long! So, keep asking yourself: what would a baby do?
**Challenge for those ready to do the work!** (10 min exercise to raise the vibe)
Write down some of the negative thoughts playing on repeat inside your mind that undermine your ability to be happy, achieve goals, have good relationships etc. Be very specific and pinpoint anyone or anything you remember that contributed to this negative thought. Write at least 10.
Then, intentionally counteract those negative messages with positive ones that are truthful in your life. ( i.e.: negative thought - “I will never be successful” vs positive truth – “I am making progress in my business every day”))
Don’t give up - it the positive truths may not appear quickly! Keep working at it and repeating it out loud until you find one that feels good. For every negative thought there is always a positive one to lighten your load, if you're willing to find it. From here...use the positive truths to create a list of affirmations you can always use. The repetitive counteracting and repeating of these loving words will reprogram your mind and the negative thoughts will naturally begin to dissipate.
Love & Light,
Interested in working together? Book a reading or coaching session here.
Pop Up Readings @ Homestead Apothecary (Temescal Store)